you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How does one acquire holy water?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
