hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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