So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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