Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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