Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
