Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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