I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
