Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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