I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
