Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
