Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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