Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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