Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
