I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
