So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
