I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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