Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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