why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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