So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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