Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
