I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize