Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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