oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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