Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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