been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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