I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My vagina is very pro this idea
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