You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize