it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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