piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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