I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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