You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
