yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
