You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
