omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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