haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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