I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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