is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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