How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
