sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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