Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
