I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
