She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
