Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
