You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
