Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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