Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
