We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
