Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
