it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
