My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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