Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
