bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize