Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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