i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize