Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
