I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize