Just fell off a train. Bad.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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