So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You don't make any sense
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