on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
