did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
