Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
