if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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