Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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