After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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