once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have aggressive nipples.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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