I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We're too hungover to prance.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize