God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
