Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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