@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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