Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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